Click to listen – running time 5 minutes, 30 seconds.

In his infamous “Sunday Address” on 10th May, Boris Johnson abandoned the Stay at Home message.

As a result, the UK lock-down is rapidly relaxing, and as it does so, we’ll increasingly be going about our business, but with the constant fear of catching the virus.

Trying to get back to normal, but everything – travel, the shops, bumping into friends – laced with anxiety.

Did I just make a mistake?  Did I just touch something I shouldn’t have touched?  Did that person just breathe on me?

At all costs, we have to avoid catching it. Right?

But, if you think about it, there’s something worse than going out and catching it….

Here’s my story about where I was on the day we gave up Contact Tracing, on 12th March….

About how I did something worse than going out and catching it.

And about the little flashbacks of trauma which I thought were behind me.

Click to listen – running time 5 minutes, 30 seconds.

This audio essay was written and recorded for BBC Radio Four’s Today Programme in the days following the abandonment of the Stay at Home message. It aired, in a slightly different version, on 26 May.