In memory of Anthony, who died five years ago today.
Looking back
by
Edana Minghella
I said, we’ll both be in our bathchairs on the beach.
– Do you think?
Yes. You’ll be really old and I’ll be sprightly.
But we’ll both be in bathchairs, wrapped in blankets,
on Brighton beach. Or Ryde. A beach somewhere.
Looking out to sea.
– Do you think I’ve done all right?
(You meant the house
I think.)
I said, of course, it’s beautiful.
We’ll talk about gran. And mum and dad. And the shop.
I’ll say, what about the Aunts?
The time the priest came to see Auntie Jeanie in hospital and offered us holy communion?
Our panicked eyes, our open mouths.
I’ll say, remember the rock festival?
The topless girls wanting ninety-nines.
Your face averted, your hands shaking
When you put in the flake.
You at fourteen,
Smelling of chocolate and vanilla.
I’ll say, remember that film you made?
The sixth. Or will it be the seventh?
The one with Thing in. And that woman whose
Face doesn’t move.
– Who? Her face does move!
Whatshername.
I said, I’ll get confused, looking back,
And so will you.
We’ll both be a bit dotty.
Dottier. Chockful of dots.
And grumpy probably. Grumbling
in our bathchairs on Appley beach.
Or Puckpool.
– Do you think?
Yes.
– I hope you’re right.
Your garden; a freezing March Monday.
Huddled in your coat, the outside damp, mushroomy,
leaves scrunching underfoot –
like autumn –
The last time I saw you.
You have reduced me to tears.
I am full.
Love to you and your family, Dominic
Beautiful piece, Edana. Big hugs to all the family.
Beautiful words – and terrible. Thinking of you and family.
Moved and loving the words you have used, Edana, to remember and remind us too.
Love to all the family.
Bless you……many things and people can be taken away from us in our lives but never can the memories be taken out of our hearts….usually the tears are of joy …
L O V E
I had a similar conversation with my sister, about growing old together, sitting on her terrace in Massarosa. She died 2 years and 4 months ago today at a stupidly young 51. I feel your pain and I am so sorry. Though I will never meet you, Edana, you and your family are close to my heart in remembering a beautiful soul, Anthony.
My heart is heavier for reading this. Much love to you and your family. x
Such fond memories of the lovely Anthony. Great conversations on a Greek island before he was ‘famous’. A beautiful person gone too soon.